Tube is Back in!!! YUCK

Okay, I have not wanted to post this, but here goes. Mackynlee lost 6 ounces with her tube taken out in a week. This is way too much for her to lose. Actually, any ounce is too much for her to lose. She needs to gain weight!! At least we know from giving her a break from the tube that she is not going to eat enough without it. We were just wanting to give it a try. For our peace of mind, we know she still has to have the tube. She needs to eat about 27 ounces a day. She was eating around 20 ounces a day on her on without the tube. Getting these 20 ounces down her each day was a struggle. We were nonstop feeding her. She was also very restless because she was never getting full. She snacked continuously.

We put the feeding tube back in yesterday. She is gagging and throwing up again. It is pure torture for all of us. It is so hard seeing your baby do this after every feeding!!! We may go ahead with the surgery to get the peg tube, or we may wait a while. There are many reasons to go ahead and get the tube, but I also have lots of hesitations about getting peg tube.

Reasons to get it:
She does not do well with the feeding tube in her throat.

Reasons not to go ahead with it:
I do not want her exposed to sickness in the hospital.
I do not want her to have any setbacks from having another surgery or just by being in the hospital.
I still have hopes that in a month or so her eating will pick up again.

I know there are many more reasons, but my brain is not working this morning. Pray I deal with this better. I know things could be a lot worse for us, but this is draining me. I am so tired of people offering suggestions of what I should do to get her to eat. We do not know why she is not eating. It has nothing to do with the taste of food or any other common reasons normal babies do not eat. People do not understand you cannot compare a heart baby in any way to a normal baby!!! Sorry for being so negative, I am just going through one of my feel sorry for myself and my baby days. I actually dodged people yesterday in Walmart because I did not want to be questioned or hear any suggestions!!!!!

I am going to share a post from another heart mom about the feeding tube issues. This is so similar to our feelings!!!

We did a trial for Veiyah's feeding tube to come out. She needs a total of 700 ml's a day for her calorie intake goals to be met. Just to be hydrated she needed at least 500. She got to about 550 a day. She did SO good. At first she went up 1.5 oz. Then 4 days later, she lost 4oz. So they said by the next visit (2 days) she HAD to be up the 4oz in weight gain for the tube to stay out. That visit came and she only gained 1 oz back. It was hard to have to put this tube back in, but I'm remembering how trivial this is compared to not having her with us. It is a pain, I won't lie. She is constantly pulling it out. We keep her arms wrapped, and an 8 month old baby girl shouldn't live like that. ;) So, we are looking at getting Veiyah scheduled to get a G-tube. I've wavered over this decision for months and Jer and I really do feel a peace about it now. Now it's just a waiting game. We wait on GI surgeons to get back with us on when! As for now, our consultation is this Friday. She also has her neurology appointment Friday as well. Please pray for both appts to go well.

It was SO much fun having that tube out of V's nose for a week and a half! She was a different baby!! She held her head up SO much better, no wobbling. She laughed more, smiled more, and we could hear her real voice rather than a muffled one from a tube swelling her throat. Wow, that girl has a voice! :)